Time for Change

Brittany Spears song comes to mind when thinking of the title of this post. In her song “Oops, I did it again,” the stinging words “Can’t you see I’m a fool in so many ways, but to lose all my senses?”    The lyrics remind me of a phrase I’ve heard too many times before, “he was thinking with the wrong head,” which really doesn’t apply to me, but you know what I mean.  I’ve had those “lose all my senses moments” (regrettably) and have sighed, “Oops I did it, again” and asked myself “Why?” I can literally hear Dr. Phil saying to me, “What were you thinking?”   I face him, with a sigh, “Dr. Phil, I wasn’t”.

I had yet another “Oops.” I can vividly remember my Psychologist Manny’s response, to my being a “bad girl” again!  Manny would start the session, with “have you been a good girl or bad girl?” With that question, Manny and I would laugh.  What Manny was literally asking me was, if I had made positive strides or continued doing the same negative things that brought me to him in the first place.  For the most part he said I was a Five Star Student.  I did all of my homework, reading books and putting into play the things that Manny said I needed to do, to break free from negative patterns.   I messed up a few times (aka Relapse), re-claiming my “bad girl” title.  Not “bad” really, just doing the same thing over again with the same not in my best interests result.   I admitted to Manny that I had contacted an old flame, who was really as destructive as fire to me, who I had broken up with at least five times!  (Pretty good sign things weren’t good!)  Manny shrieked with a voice like Brian Johnson (ACDC’s lead singer) with a French accent, “I leave you alone for a week and what do you do??!!!  You call the biggest loser in Ontario!” And, like Dr. Phil, Manny said “Now, how’s that working for you?”

I admired the way Manny made his point… making me see with clarity, the foolishness of my repeat patterns.   Manny said “if you hang around with dogs with fleas, you will catch fleas.”  I’d laugh and almost cry at the same time, but Manny always made the senseless explainable.  I didn’t want “this life anymore!”  Like an addict needing a fix, I was addicted to dysfunction.   However, I wanted to be healthy, happy and free of drama and “bad boys!”

That’s why I sought Manny’s expertise in the first place – to break free from draining, damaging and destructive relationships!   In a matter of months, Manny helped me see how the demons in my past, had turned a normally intelligent woman into a door mat.  I needed to break free from repeat patterns and learn self-respect and self-love.  I am proud to say, that was two years ago and I am healed of self -destruction.  Today, I have an amazing man in my life, one of the “good guys.” My key to change was through understanding how my past affected me.

How many times have you thought about making a positive change, such as cutting sweets from your diet, getting more sleep, exercising, quitting smoking, kicking negative habits or finally breaking free from a “better than nothing” relationship?   Listen “bad girl” or “bad boy”, before you beat yourself up, you aren’t bad at all.  Your mind has been possessed by a ghostly entity (well sort of) and like old bones, it’s there waiting to be dug up (Big gulp).   Please remember to keep all the lights on when you go to bed!  Seriously, it’s your powerful subconscious mind…everything that has been downloaded into your memory since the beginning of time that influences you greatly today.

Good Intentions – Gone To The Wind: Remember when you experienced an explosion of energy, a complete overdose of the Glee show, with your pom-pom’s waving wildly in determination, cheering to yourself and others that you were going to “do it this time?”  You had good intentions and no matter what, you were going to make a change (fill in the blanks, what was it?).   BUT, (the word commonly used while making excuses) before you knew it, “Oops You Do It Again!” (Awe Charlie Brown!!) falling prey to the Walker syndrome.   Like the Walkers in the Walking Dead TV series, you are walking aimlessly, on autopilot.  There you go, eating another person again! Nooooooooo!   Actually, you start smoking again, go back out with that person “again” or take another drink….. the cycle of what you were trying to escape, starts all over again.   That was THEN, this is NOW.   You are soon to receive the code, the Consciousness Key that will open the door to making powerful changes in your life!!  You have the Consciousness Key and it is accessible 24/7.  Change begins when we understand the conscious and the powerful subconscious mind, which I will soon explain.

Old habits are learned behaviors that are hard to break and linked directly to past experiences, thoughts and responses embedded deeply within our subconscious mind.   These layers of past experiences and information or data, can be beneficial or negative in nature.   Some of this “data” may have been the “knowledge of the day”, or beliefs passed down from families, cultures or religion.  Some of the data is something someone said about you, or did to you, which clings to you, like a bee to honey.

In order to change old behavior and to be successful in goal achievement, we must first acknowledge the power of our subconscious mind…which I call our “data bank”.   This data bank contains everything you have ever seen, experienced, learned, breathed in and heard since birth.   I actually believe that we are impacted from the experience while in the womb of our mother.  What was her state of mind?  Was she stressed or happy?  What sounds or noises were heard?  We extract this information from our data bank when we are going about our life, without even realizing that the subconscious mind is constantly influencing our responses, actions and decisions.

Now Let Me Get To The Point.  We need to override the old yucky data (lies, hurtful or harmful experiences) that was stored in our subconscious mind, with new positive data, achieved through conscious choice – AKA The Consciousness Key.  What is conscious choice?  When you learned to drive a car, for the first time, you had to consciously think about each step…..turn the key on, shift into a gear, push your foot on the accelerator, play by play and with careful focus!  Once you learned to drive the car, as an experienced driver, your subconscious mind took over.  You drive the vehicle without step by step conscious thinking.  Driving becomes automatic.  That’s like our subconscious mind, it drives us, automatically.  And, it does not discriminate between fact or fiction or good or bad.  It draws from the data that has been inputted into the data bank.  It becomes the fuel that drives us!  It’s powerful, 30,000 times more powerful than our conscious mind! It has history, it has clout.  Yes, and?

Conscious override begins when we stop, recognize and think before going into autopilot mode. For example, a person, let’s call him Joe, has the urge to have a cigarette.  Before reaching for the cigarette pack, Joe must stop and consciously speak (or think) the truth, versus believing an old false reality.  Joe states, “This cigarette is harmful to my health.  I do not want to get cancer.  I want to live to an old age, to be with my children.  It’s my subconscious mind that continues to think I need this cigarette, because it’s my autopilot!”  (If anyone witnesses you talking to yourself, just smile and be affirmative!)  Recognize the pattern and acknowledge the behavior and what is driving it! Then consciously, re-direct your thoughts and actions to a new positive outcome.  Joe could say “I know that cigarette smoking is harmful. I choose to live a healthy life.  I now chose, instead of lighting up, to go for a walk.  I feel so good when I walk.”  In time, Joe sticks to walking, instead of smoking.  He feels great and looses weight!  Bonus!! Joe feels inspired. Change happens, one step at a time, one choice at a time.

Effective change doesn’t end there. We then consciously choose to add further positive information into our data bank.  For example, Joe could also enroll in a stop-smoking class, for peer support.  Joe can choose to avoid circumstances that trigger smoking, such as not drinking alcohol because, “I only smoke when I drink.” Joe is determined and goes to Chapters and purchases a book about people who have quit smoking, “If they can do it, so can I!”  Soon, a new reality is downloaded into Joes (and our) data bank, to extract from, at a later date.   We are consciously creating a new reality, with the reward of having a healthy mind, body and spirit.  The more we put into our data bank, new layers of information, the “yucky old data” sinks deeper and deeper, to the bottom of the river, where it belongs, in the muck!  Eventually the old data has no more power over us!  Let me hear you say “YES! YES! YES!” like you are the starring in an Herbal Essence shampoo commercial!  We are then, no longer driven by our past or the subconscious-auto-pilot.  We are now driving our own bus, directing our lives, with happy and healthy outcomes!

Check Out The New You!  When we clear the Yucky’s and download new positive data, our auto pilot is confident and full of awesome, supportive, empowering, enlightening and rocking-you information! Like the Mother Duck, you will have ducklings following you, wanting to be just like you!  Everyone will want to know what is making you glow!  You will inspire others to make positive changes in their lives!

Imagine a world where all of us are loaded with healthy ingredients. Imagine the possibilities! And, no more fleas!