We often hold on to ‘stuff’. We hold on to pain, we hold on to fear so much. We are so much more than our pain and fear. When we tap in to our power of possibility we grow.

When we realise that our pain can be our power and that our voids become our values we liberate ourselves of these rigid stories that list us immensely.

The time to release is now. Simply begin with gentle and supported exploration of self, one’s ideologies, beliefs, self, relationship, past, present and future.

To immerse in this space with clarity and a yearning to be open, transparent and willing is to be full and whole in life. To deepen our relationships. Our relationship to self and to those that matter profoundly.

This embodiment and acting in and of wholeness allow us to not shut down the most powerful and empowered aspects of self. Instead of internalising our pain, we open to the world, share and become greater connected.

Loyalty to self and to one’s growth and expansion becomes the prime directive for the quality of transparent and expansive experiences we choose to engage in.

We all have a past. This past needn’t dictate our future. Every moment we choose to live from a place of response as opposed to reaction we are choosing a higher and more aware state of consciousness that is grounded in the present as opposed to being rooted in the past.

There are times when we feel immense guilt and shame for who we have been and how we have chosen to behave. We lack compassion and empathy for ourselves and our own ‘inner speak’ is harsh, cruel and rigid. When we are in this space, we cultivate deeper guilt and shame for these actions, thoughts and feelings (or lack thereof) that have been expressed and we continue to come from a place of scarcity, fear and constriction.

We crucify ourselves for what we have done, continuing to bring this shame in to the present and in to our relationships. We suffer incessantly because we are choosing to define ourselves by what we have been as opposed to what we may become

At some point we need to release this burden. Yes, we must acknowledge, yes, we must connect fully to these feelings – feel them, know them and merge them in to our psyche. However, we must also transmute them by choosing a different path. Knowing that there is a different path other than a regretful and unconsciously conditioned one.

We must be sorry and then at some point we also must release this pain of the past, forgive ourselves and move forward with a newly found wisdom. The reality is however before we even reach forgiveness we must allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, completely and in a connected manner.

We only keep ourselves, our loved ones and our potential at bay, distant and disconnected if we keep our minds in the past and our bodies in the present. Our internalised relationship blueprint becomes distorted and our connections suffer for it.

Our bodies will continue to behave in the manner that our mind dictates. If our mind’s worry incessantly we detract from the purpose of the present. Our greatest power comes from recognizing who we are and who we have been and then reconciling the two through compassion, understanding and empathy.

When we lack the ability to process overtly and express our pain, fear and emotions we are unable to feel and be at peace in the moment. When we become fully aware of our traumas, fears, pains, conditioning, unconscious attitudes and behaviours we free ourselves of density, sadness and fear.

Because so many of us are not conscious of our pain, this harbouring within causes externalized frustration, projection and at times outwardly expressed aggression. Either this or we retract and hide from the world. Minimising our wonder and beauty.

Unregulated, unconscious and painful projections of a wounded self that has no place to be perpetually active in the present moment becomes further supressed and further ‘demonised’ within the self.

We are wiser than that. We are more adept than that. Let’s LEAN IN TO our pain, instead of avoiding it, so that we may grow from it and develop a deeper sense of self. By leaning I refer to acknowledging not ignoring; recognising and embracing and not distancing. Seeking guidance and support and not isolating and learning about who we are from a more whole perspective, not a fractured or fragmented one.

For ourselves, our path, our purpose, our presence and our global community, the world needs us healthy, emotionally regulated, postured, connected, open, vertical and strong.

It is time to release fully who we are and unleash ourselves in to the world. To be constricted and limited by fear, resentment, anger, shame and guilt will only hinder our collective and individual progress.

It is time to release. You are not alone.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, International Speaker and Author


“Stef facilitates transformational growth through neuro empowerment practices, an integration of spiritual praxis and western psychology to improve, evolve and enhance the quality of your relationships. Integrating the best of eastern and western methodologies and philosophies and using integrative techniques methods, Stef created programs and systems to enhance the quality of your life, your relationship and in essence bring them closer to their potential.”

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